Abel and Bernice have been course mates for two years and they share a room in one of the halls of residence on campus. As such, they spend most of their time together, during and after classes, and have a good relationship. Recently, Abel heard that someone has been spreading nasty rumours about her. This made Abel upset but she decided to ignore the rumours as she believes the truth will prevail eventually.
A few days later, Bernice questioned Abel about the accuracy of those rumours. Initially, Bernie did not believe a word of those rumours but as she began hearing more from people, she started to have doubts. Hence, she thought it would be best to ask Abel about it. Abel felt insulted that Bernice would actually believe those rumours despite having known her for two years.
Abel then asked Bernice to reveal the source of the rumours, in an attempt to find out who was behind all these. To her surprise, Bernice refused, saying that she has to protect their identities. This left Abel feeling betrayed as she thought Bernie, as her friend, should help her stop these rumours instead of trying to protect the identities of those people who were harming her. Bernie, on the other hand, feels that by telling Abel, she would be considered untrustworthy by others.
Should Bernie tell Abel what she knows?
UCS1001 S21 Tri1 2024-25
3 weeks ago
Hey Geok!
ReplyDeleteBernice should have told Abel when she first heard about it. Bernice should not care if people would trust her in future when it comes to rumours, which we all know that are harmful and hurtful.
Abel, on the other hand, should have explained that she was upset and asked Bernice why she would believe those rumours.
If both Abel and Bernice value their friendship, Bernice would tell Abel who the culprits are while Abel would tell Bernice the reason why she did not do anything when she heard about the rumours initially.
Catherine :)
Dear Geok Ting,
ReplyDeleteI see a clear conflict between two people who are well described. The question you pose is also clear, and nearly a moral one. The obvious answer is "well of course Bernie should tell Abel what she knows." The more complex question would be "why should she tell Abel what she knows." I see that Catherine has given a reason even for why, but what communication principles might be involved here? Also, what if Bernie had promised someone not to tell Abel?
Thanks for the post!
Bernice should help her good friend Abel out. She should have told Abel about the sources of the rumors by revealing those culprits. Friends should stick together in times of need and she should have believed Abel instead of those rumors. Bernice need not worry about what others will feel about her in the future should she have revealed the names. She could have talked to Abel about the rumors and find out herself whether those rumors are actually true. Doubting your best friend is the last thing you can do if the situation is not handled properly.
ReplyDeleteIf Bernice had promised someone not to reveal their identities, she could also have explained to Abel that she had an agreement with them in the first place and she didn’t want to break the pact. I’m sure Abel would have understand her and not blame her for keeping mum about the culprits.
Abel should make her feelings known to Bernice. She should let Bernice know that she’s deeply upset about the recent rumors and saddened by the fact that her good friend actually believed in the rumors instead of her.
Hi geok ting!
ReplyDeleteI think abel and bernice should learn to give and take. Bernice on one hand should trust abel. It will give abel alot more security then the relationship may not be so tensed anymore. Abel on the other hand, should try to understand Bernice's stand. If Bernice feels that revealing to Abel the identities is going against her own principles, then Abel should try to come to terms with that. All could be resolved if they both are willing to compromise and put the past behind them.
Hey Geok Ting!
ReplyDeleteI think Abel should have informed Bernice about the rumours as soon as she heard it.By doing so, Bernice will then be able to defend her friend when people talk to her about it.This might have made the situation less complicating.
If i were Bernice, i would think my friend didnt trust me enough to confide in me. This might have caused the doubt she first had. I think Abel should have discussed the rumours with Bernice. This would make Bernice feel that her role as a friend is important, and provide the support Abel needs.
Ruth
hi geokting,
ReplyDeleteAs you have mentioned, they were just rumours. In the wikipedia, a rumour is defined as "an unverified account or explanation of events circulating from person to person and pertaining to an object, event, or issue in public concern".
In the first place, Bernie herself should not believe these rumours at all since they are not verified by Abel. I believe that since both of them are close friends, Abel should be telling the truth to Bernie.
Bernie should just tell Abel the sources because she has the right to know since the rumours concern her. Rumours can affect the well-being of a person's life if it gets too much. I believe Bernie as a friend should care about Abel. Of course, there should be an agreement with Abel that she would not confront the 'source' after revealing the names. They should let time pass by to observe the development of the rumours before deciding on a plausible solution.